Tuesday, June 22, 2010

When what I really need is an invisibility cloak. Or my own personal censor.

As those of you who know me know: I tend to think I'm invisible in public. I'm always shocked when people recognize me.

Also, I went on a lot of dates when I was single.

A lot lot lot.

Like, sometimes four dates a week. Friends said I effectively went on at least one date with every single guy in my zip code. And a few outside it. Lawyers, nearly all.

And except for the few I pined over, I generally blogged about them, charged forward, and got on with life. Which has been busy over the last couple years, as you know.

So last week I got an email from a guy I'd gone out with a number of times several years ago. The one I made very uncomfortable by pretty much demanding he tell me five things he liked about me.

Because I am graceful and charming like that.

Shocking I was single for so long, no? Just be nice and agree, if you would.

So the email. He was leaving his law firm. It was a mass thank you, nice to have worked with you, here's my new contact info kind of email.

I replied, saying the message clearly wasn't meant for me, but I was glad to know he was well. We have mutual friends, and I said I'd heard he was married, and congratulations.

He replied and said he'd heard the same of me, congratulations. And also, he'd recently seen a video of me in a demonstration in Dupont, so he saw that I have a child, and congrats on that as well.

And then I just thought, oh thank goodness I'm married. To someone who is fine with things like Boobquake. Because while I don't get out as much, it's like I maximize my say-and-do-inane-things time while I am out.

Now I no longer live in fear that someone I've gone on a couple dates with will find the blog/see me falling into a hole on the sidewalk/hear about that time I took off my clothes in public/God knows what else.

I mean, they might, and they might judge me. But I'm no longer seeking their approval.

(And why the fuck was I in the first place, really?)

But with this I do wonder how many men saw that video and were like, "Hey, I went on a date with that woman! And she got herself married! If I ever meet him, I'm totally buying him some shots. I bet he needs them."


  1. Oh boy do I feel the same way -- thank God I'm married to a guy who appreciates all my TMI blog posts, weirdness, etc.

    PS: I have the same (or similar) camera -- the Canon PowerShot? I love mine. :)

  2. I may not agree with much that Reagan said but "No apologies. No regrets." has a nice ring to it.

    Not at all plausible in my case but, still, a nice ring.

  3. now i kind of want to go back and read all of your dating posts, and find the one where you met your husband!

    also, is someone taking a picture of you taking a picture of you (x2) there?! how'd you do that?

  4. (And why the fuck was I in the first place, really?)

    best line of the post.

    keep falling in holes and taking your clothes off, or both at the same time, you'll always have my approval!

  5. I bet it was more like, "Hey! I went on a date with that woman! And she got herself married! If I meet him, I'm totally going to cosh him over the head and steal her away."

  6. Sometimes I wonder if I will be single forever, because i don't think most guys understand my need to blurt out every single random thought in my head and do really stupid things when I'm drunk.

    You give me hope. :)

  7. Ha ha! How boring would life be if you were censored?

  8. What's wrong with demanding he tell you five things he liked about you? :)

  9. Tabitha - We all deserve to be that lucky!

    And I love that camera, too! I got it at Costco. It is great.

    Hillary - Hugs, lady!

    lacochran's evil twin - That does have a nice ring! I'm still bitter that National got renamed Reagan National, but I suppose his speech writers did know how to turn a phrase.

    brookem - Some of them are really painful. And they are plentiful - you'd be in for a long slog.

    Yah - I had my camera - had just taken a picture of someone and was kind of idly waving it around, and another friend was about to take my pic with his Blackberry, and another friend took the photo of both. There's a series, getting more and more engineered as we went. Cool, isn't it?

    stacy - Thank you! I think back to some of them and I just wonder why I allowed myself to need their approval so much. What a waste.

    Dagny - Ahh, I love that idea! I don't know that it's realistic, but I love it!

    P - You will absolutely meet the person who will appreciate you for those things (rather than in spite of them). Definitely.

    Lynn - Dull dull dull! What a good point you make! :)

  10. kayare - It shouldn't be so hard to come up with things you like about the other person, should it? But then again, you shouldn't have to demand, in my opinion. He's a lovely person, he really is, but we were very ill-matched.

  11. to H-E-double hockey sticks with a censor! (see how stupid that sounded?) if it weren't for YOU, i wouldn't be enjoying toast with Cheez Whiz right now!

  12. Wow wow wow Boobquake.
    I never would have guessed that about you but this is a family blog, so im putting your past behind us now and moving forard:)

  13. There is something so perfect about a blog post of a photo of you photographing yourself, while posing with fragmented images of yourself, displayed on other cameras. It's the epitome of the social media impulse! Very cool photo, too! Laura


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