1. Live in a house with radiator heat.
2. And also one old boiler that supplies all hot water for the house, including aforementioned radiators. (Note: foreshadowing!)
3. Wait for Snowmaggedon DC 2010! Biggest snow of the year/the decade/the ever! Lots of snow! Freezy fucking freezing!
4. Suddenly notice that it has gotten progressively colder in the house.
5. Realize that not only does the thermostat register coldy-cold, but in fact, radiators are no longer radiating.
6. Ask husband to fix the situation. Have full confidence, as not only is he handy, but he's remedied this before.
7. Be told by husband that the pilot light for the boiler, the goddamnedsonofabitchemeffing boiler, is off and refuses to go back on. And the boiler guy, whose number husband apparently has on speed dial, cannot come over (see #3 Snowmageddon). Until Monday.
8. Swear profusely. Repeat this step as often as necessary. Also maybe stamp feet. For warmth. And emphasis.
9. Ask neighbor, who is over hanging out, to borrow space heaters.
10. Pray that the power doesn't go out.
Fuck fuck fuckity fucking goddamn fuckaliciousness fuckity fuck! For example.