Things continue to improve with my dad. I had no idea he was so strong. His will to live is much stronger than he realizes.
Although I'd like to recognize people for their kindness, I am not naming any names in this post. I will, however, much like an academy award speech, have a list of people to thank very soon.
I just got a lovely email from a blogger in NY. She said she hadn't commented recently because she didn't know what to say, but she wanted to offer her support.
This is the kind of beautiful gesture that reminds me that kindness abounds in the world.
The truth is, there isn't much to say. And even some people I know in person don't know what to say. As my good friends and I keep repeating, it just sucks. That sums it up.
I know suicide is such an awkward thing to talk about. Most people don't. Some people are surprised that I'm willing to be so candid.
The fact is, I'm not ashamed. Shame is what keeps people from talking about it. Shame keeps people from getting help. Shame keeps suicide a taboo issue. Shame makes all of it so much worse.
Right after I wrote about what my dad had done, I got the most amazing email from a guy who said he'd tried to commit suicide before. He offered his ear, his support, anything. And so I started asking him questions - about his own experience, about his opinions. I asked him for advice. He answered any and all questions so candidly.
It's such an intimate thing to share, and he shared with me, a complete stranger. He gave me strength through his willingness to be vulnerable. That is a truly amazing thing. We have an ongoing dialogue. I feel like I have a new friend.
I cannot even express to you how much this has helped me. It gave me a little window into how it might be for my dad. It calmed me down. It gave me hope.
These are only a couple examples of many. It will probably sound sappy to say that I have found the kindest, most extraordinary people just by writing my little day-to-day on the Internet, but it's true. Thank you all for caring, for taking the time to reach out.
This whole experience has pretty much sucked ass, but it's been mitigated by friends, both my in-person ones and those of you in cyberspace who I've never met, but hope to one day.