I like to think of myself as open minded. But there are a variety of things I just don't get.
At 7 this morning, AKA the crack of dawn, I staggered downstairs. I'd gone to sleep scant hours prior, around 2 am. Because Chicago is fun. But that is a story for another day.
So I struggled down to the staff room, checked in with our meeting planners, and then went into a meeting room trying to find one of the guys filming the event.
The workshop started at 8:30. And there were attendees already sitting in the room, waiting! Honest to God. Just hanging out. Waiting.
And then one of the speakers showed up, and he turned out to be a dick and a half. He was mean to the AV guys, and condescended to me. And I just peered at him with as much "I loathe you quickly and thoroughly, you angry toad." as I could muster.
But despite my lack of sleep and a mild case of the bird flu and sudden irritation, I realized that actually, I could list offhand a variety things to be thankful for then and there.
Starting with the fact that I am not an accountant. I will never, pray God, have to be an accountant. I do not get excited by accounting workshops.
And even if I did find this shit interesting, I have more imagination than to show up to a hotel ballroom a bloody hour and a half before a program starts, and just sit and wait.
Why the hell would you spend more time sitting in a hotel meeting room than you have to?
Because, you guys, it's Chicago, and Chicago is fantastic! It's chilly but sunny! Go out for breakfast! Go for a run! Meander down Michigan Avenue! Read the Sunday paper at Starbucks! Sit in your hotel room in your underwear and watch porn with the curtains open!
Honestly, there are 8 trillion things more interesting than waiting, on the edge of your seat, just sitting and waiting, for an accounting workshop to begin.